by Lari Hatley | Aug 18, 2019 | Aquiring and Retaining Donors, Building Relationships
In my first position as a Director of Communications, every item that went out out in print, email, or online (Social Media would come later.) had to go through a tortuous line of proofers and editors. Every comma, every hyphen was debated. Every image was perfect.
We were a prestigious girl’s school. We had standards. The outcome was predictable – and bland.
So I tried an experiement.
I watched what was happeing at our school, and I thought about who would be interested. What would parents want to hear about? What about grandparents, alumnae, and board members. What would move their hearts?
I started to send emails when I saw something I thought would interest an audience. No set schedule. No committee proofing, editing, draining the life out of a conversation starter. Just emails from the heart that matched the audience – that felt spontaneous, authentic – real. I hit send and held my breath.
The feedback was instantaneous” “Thank you!” “I love this!” “Keep these coming!” And my favorite, “Can I send a check now!”
Converstations started. I was a real person to each audience. They became real to me. We had something in common. We cared about their kids, the students, the culture of the school, and the traditions. I wasn’t “selling ” them anything. I was just sharing what I saw that moved my heart. I was delighted when it moved theirs, too.
An interesting footnote:
Years later, I was looking back at copies of the emails. I couldn’t find a single one that didn’t have a typo or a punctuation error. I was struck by the fact that the very same people who were on the phone immediately to report a misplaced comma in a formal piece, loved these messages. I think the difference was that these felt real, matched their personal interest, and had an intimate quality – characteristics as valued as precision.
by Lari Hatley | Aug 14, 2019 | Aquiring and Retaining Donors
What I remember most about my first Association of Fundraising Professionals (AFP) meeting is the speaker. He was a very successful Director of Development. He raised lots of money, and he shared how he had stopped at a farm stand to buy five ripe tomatoes to take to a long-time donor.
At the time, I thought, “Cute story. Now get to the money.” Agggg! I had a lot to learn.
Years later, I remember those tomatoes, and donors have taught me their value. Those luscious edibles said, “I listened to you. I heard what you enjoy. I remembered and acted on it, because you matter to our organization.”
Letting donors know they matter is important at a very basic level. According to Marianna Pogosyan, PhD, the feeling of belonging contibutes to a meaningful life, since being part of a group makes us feel part of something larger than ourselves. It provides a sense of “lastingness” amd “continuity.” These are important concepts, but especially meaningful to older donors, who give the largest percentage of charitable dollars.
In Maslow’s Hierachy of Needs, belonging is right in the middle of the pyramid.
Leon F. Seltzer, PhD gives Ten Reasons Why Feeling Understood Is Crucial To Your Well-Being.
Here are three of them. Feeling understood, makes you feel:
1. You’re known
2. You ‘re accepted.
3. You’re empowered.
Known, accepted, empowered, part of something larger than yourself: that is why five ripe tomatoes go such a long way toward building a strong relationship between an organization doing good and a person, who wants to help.
That relationship is the foundation upon which philanthropy is built.
by Lari Hatley | Aug 12, 2019 | Aquiring and Retaining Donors, Communication, The Ask
As a Director of Development, I quickly learned that I wasn’t asking people for money. I was giving good folks a chance to be part of something that mattered to them. It changed the conversation.
When I met with new prospects, we would have a friendly chat. I shared a little bit about myself and the mission of the organization I represented, but mostly I listened. What did this person care about? What mattered to them? If our mission mattered to them, then I knew that they might enjoy knowing more about what we did and about how they might help. If our mission didn’t share any touch points with what mattered to them, I might still know of ways to “do good’ that might interest them. I could share those.
Just as important, as learning where the person before me might connect with the organization, was learning who they were as a person. Did the love to travel, hate mushrooms, adore their cat, worry about their oldest child, hold deep religious convictions – or not. All these things would help me show that I cared about them as a person – not just as a pocketbook.
One thing we all have in common, whether we live paycheck to paycheck, have a huge trust fund, or hope a nonprofit can help us find a place to sleep tonight, is that we want to feel valued and understood. We all want to be recognized for who we are – not just because we are pretty or rich or in a wheel chair or struggling to feed our kids. Valued. Understood. Noticed. Heard.
Listening. It’s an art.
Erich Fromm, noted social psychologist, share six steps to mastering this skill in his book, “The Art of Listening.”
- The basic rule for practicing this art is the complete concentration of the listener.
- Nothing of importance must be on his mind, he must be optimally free from anxiety as well as from greed.
- He must possess a freely-working imagination which is sufficiently concrete to be expressed in words.
- He must be endowed with a capacity for empathy with another person and strong enough to feel the experience of the other as if it were his own.
- The condition for such empathy is a crucial facet of the capacity for love.
- To understand another means to love him — not in the erotic sense but in the sense of reaching out to him and of overcoming the fear of losing oneself.
Listening is an art that will pay off in strong relationships and deep support,
First published in 2017.
by Lari Hatley | Aug 8, 2019 | The Ask
You’ve heard it.
“I hate asking people for money!” “I can’t stand begging!” “I refuse to ask my friends to give.”
Maybe it was a board member. Maybe it was one of the leadership team. Oh, I hope it wasn’t your Executive Director!
Maybe we’re getting this response because of the way we’re framing it.”
Asking brings up images of asking mom and dad for money for the movies. “Please, please, please!” Or trying to get the bank or worse a friend to give us a loan. We felt like they had all the power. We felt little and helpless. Who wants to repeat that?
What if we change that picture? What if we say:
We have something wonderful. It’s what you’ve always wanted. (We know because we’ve been listening to what you value. You’ve told us what you care about. ) We’re doing good: feeding the children, housing the homeless, rescuing kittens, cleaning the ocean. We’re making the world a better place, and you can help.
You’re invited!
Want to be part of this? We’ll deliver meals, pick up plastic, feed the kittens, or build the houses – but we need you. We need your help.
Here’s all the good we can do – together.
Let’s do this!
by Lari Hatley | Aug 4, 2019 | Aquiring and Retaining Donors, Building Relationships
12 steps to a successful cultivation event:
1. Think of something fun.
Your event can be small – 6-8 people coming for coffee or dinner or to taste three local, craft beers and pick their personal favorite. It can be larger – 20 – 30 friends, who come for cocktails, or a pig pickin’ or to stroll through your garden, when everything is in bloom.
2. Issue a personal invitation
Pick up the phone. Ask face-to-face. Send a personal email at the very least. No evites or eblasts for this one.
Be clear. This will be fun AND you are on the board or you care deeply about this organization, and you want them to come and meet some folks you really admire and you want your friend to hear about the important work the organization is doing. (If you are just introducing these folks to your organization, do NOT ask for money at this event. Too soon!) Never ask for money unless all the guests know that is the purpose of the event. Having a guest feel misled is no way to make a connection.Invite people you think will be interested in your cause
3. Invite people you think share your values. Be sure to include people who have the capacity to give and people with philanthropic hearts. That means people who can write big checks when the time comes and people who will become recurring donors – even if each individual gift is smaller.
Now you have your guest list – –
4. Match each guest with a personal host
Have a board or administration member present for every five guests. This is your party team. Give each team member the names of the five people they are matched with. Match based on the peer – to – peer concept: matched by age, gender, social position, interests. The team member will just make every effort to meet and chat with the folks on their list. After the event, each team member will email the Director of Development with notes about the guests they visited with: “John is interested in our cause because his sister was touched by it. He is a big Steelers fan and is planning a trip to Paris this spring.” The goal is connecting. If your ED can ask John if he did go to Paris when they meet in the summer, John will feel like he is seen as a person, not just a bank account.
5. Make sure everyone feels welcome
At the beginning of the event scatter your team members around the venue: near the entrance, near the food, near the drinks, near a station where people can pick up marketing material, and scattered around the room.When not chatting with assigned guests, encourage the team to scan the room, watching for anyone who is alone or looks uncomfortable. Time to chat.
6. Smile!
The team sets the tone. Radiate warm goodwill. This is a NO GRUMBLING zone. If something goes wrong, spin!
7. Time to tell your story
Everyone is here. Folks are mingling, chatting, smiling, eating, and having a drink. Now bring everyone together for a brief – wait – make that BRIEF presentation about the good your donors make possible. If possible have three very brief testimonials: a recipient, a staff member, a donor – with an intro and summary by the ED – totaling 15 minutes. That is a total of four voices, four points of view in 15 minutes. Know exactly what each person is going to say and stick to it. This is your real Power point.
8. Set the example
During the presentation, the team has a critical job: listen! Be obviously attentive. If others are having a hard time focusing, smile and say,”Oooh, this is good. Listen to this!” Now, nod, lean in, mummer positive comments: “Yes!” “Right!” Would an ‘amen!’ be too much?
9. Listen to your guests
After the presentation, scatter out. Invite folks to have another dessert, a cup of coffee, a glass of wine. Listen for response. Who was moved? Who was bored? Who’s excited? Who’s looking for the door? Who’s looking for a place to make a donation? No matter what you hear, stay positive. Remember. We’re here to make friends.
10. Collect contact information
Have a place where guests can pick up your brochures and business cards and where they can leave their contact information – to receive the newsletter or learn about volunteer opportunities – or just to stay in touch.
One way to collect contact info is to have a door prize and have a bowl where guests can drop their own business cards or info slips you’ve made available. Then draw one card for the prize and record the rest of the contact information gathered to contact the guests after the event.
11. Staff follow up
After the event, have a staff member make follow-up calls (and emails if you can’t get a guest to answer the phone.) In the call, thank each guest for coming. Then ask: What did you think? How could we make it better? Is there a way you’d like to be involved? Do you know anyone else, who might enjoy learning about what we do?
12. Board follow up
Have the board members who attended write hand-written notes to the guests thanking them for coming. Invite the guest to call or email if they have questions.
Okay. You have tools for making connections. Time to start courting those donors and potential donors. But first. Stop. Have a cold beverage.
